Every morning, I stand on top of the mountain I live in.
Every morning, I see a creature flying towards me, with the dawning sun in it’s back.
Sometimes, it’s a beautiful Phoenix, heralding the fine day and enveloping me with the warmth of the sun.
But sometimes, it’s a dark Dragon instead, filling me with doubt and tears.
Sometimes, it looks like the Phoenix from afar, and I’m opening my arms wide in greeting, but then it turns out to be the Dragon, and I’m desperate and disappointed.
Sometimes, it looks like the Dragon from afar, and I’m getting sad, but it turns out to be the Phoenix, but I’m still doubtful and won’t believe it’s warming words.
That means, only about every fourth day is a good day for me, when the Phoenix rises in the distance and embraces me in joy.
Sometimes, I think the Phoenix is disappointed too, disappointed of me, and desperate.
Sometimes, I think when the Phoenix is disappointed, it sheds bitter tears that drown it’s flames and turn it into the dark Dragon.
Maybe there wouldn’t be a Dragon if it wasn’t for me disappointing the Phoenix.
Everytime one of us is hurt, so is the other.
Maybe we wouldn’t be hurt if I wasn’t there.
“She wanted to listen to me, was fascinated by the things I told her, and of course she fascinated me even more.”
“I think it must’ve been a couple of weeks until I realised – during a dark and snowy winter night with The Cranberries in the background – that I was deeply in love with her.”
“Not very long though, until I realised I had fallen in love again (yes, I’m a bit addicted to that).”
“finnish girls are the cutest beings on earth.”
what makes me so special then? i don’t play guitar, i don’t play bass guitar, i don’t play any instrument at all anymore. what could assure me that i am not also just one part of the chain?
i am so sorry it’s always the same fuck with me. but there are words that make me crack a lot, and they crack me again and again. i don’t want to whine now. it’s not me having trouble these days, so i should feel a little more like shutting up.
sometimes, i feel like a cat, sometimes like a roe deer, but i have no animal for chaos or happiness up my sleeve.
i am demanding too much of you and i neither want nor expect you to gratify me.